21 February, 2008

Ca$hley Begs for Another Chance

Just hours before the “highlight of the British music calender” kicked off last night at Earls Court, Cheryl Tweedy came face-to-face with Ashley Cole for the first time since revelations about him trying to sex with a fat girl and being sick on her came to light. They got together in an exclusive Kensington hotel for about an hour, where in a microcosm of their whole relationship, he pleaded on bended knee while she lay on the bed crying. The Sun did the country a great service by having a guy standing in the room next door with a glass up against the walls listening in to this emotional showdown. He had these words: “Cole knew this was his last chance, but he still hasn’t been forgiven. Cheryl was a wreck. All the recovering she has done in the last three weeks was blown away by seeing Ashley again.”

Following a relaxing vacation in Thailand and a stint in LA to record a slutty new music video, Cheryl still seemed pretty stressed later as Girls Aloud paraded themselves on the red carpet minus Irish trouser-tightener Nadine, who has supposedly quit the band this week. The tanned Cheryl took great pride in showing off her ring-less hand, while the press took great pride in trying to get up-skirt photos of the four girls.

In other slightly relevant football news, Peter Crouch’s main squeeze Abbey Clancy, that well-known musical talent, was also at the BRIT Awards last night for some reason. However, in a practical joke of Jimmy Bullard-esque proportions, she was tricked into wearing a see through dress: